Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.
In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.
Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.
Non-Fiction Blog Review: I’m Glad My Mom Died
Jennette McCurdy. Who? This would have been my exact reaction if that name was ever uttered to me a little over a year ago. Then, after watching numerous “exposés” on YouTube about the numerous creeps in Hollywood who prey on children, the name Jennette McCurdy came up when iCarly producer Dan Schneider was called out for being inappropriate. Stop, wait, hold the phone Dan freaking Schneider! Why do I “know” this guy?! Yes, that’s ‘Ricky’ from the 1985 John Cusack film, Better of Dead. “Two dollars!” If you know, then you know.
I was shocked at this revelation. Later, McCurdy again caught my attention with her autobiography titled, I’m Glad My Mom Died. I knew little to nothing about this woman, can’t say that I knew her body of work other than my daughter occasionally watching iCarly but for some reason, I wanted to read her story. Perhaps it was because of the book’s title. I wanted to know what could have been so horrible that a woman’s own daughter marveled at the death of her mother. And so, I was reeled in and because of the book’s title, I picked up I’m Glad My Mom Died.
I stopped watching Nickelodeon a long time ago but, having grown up in the 1980s with shows like You Can’t Do That on Television, Pinwheel, Today’s Special, Mr. Wizard’s World, Bananaman (weird, I know), Double Dare, Finders Keepers, Out of Control, and a slew of others, Nickelodeon, whether I like it or not, was a staple of my childhood. That being said, how could I deny my kids from watching the channel? I understand that times have changed and now, more than ever, with the advent of the internet, we are more privy to information so it is no wonder that secrets and truths are being revealed about what goes on behind the scenes of movie and television production sets. Jeanette McCurdy seemed to have written this book not so much as a tell-all but, rather, to get a lot of things off her chest, therapy in a sort of way.
“My life purpose has always been to make Mom happy, to be who she wants me to be. So without Mom, who am I supposed to be now?“
– Jennette McCurdy, I’m Glad My Mom Died
Aside from iCarly, McCurdy’s acting credits reveal that I really don’t follow her body of work and, again, because my daughter watched iCarly, it is the only thing I can reference. This is not to say that she is not good at her craft but the sixty-eight roles she has booked since 2000 show that many in the industry believed in her skills as an actress. Still, her seemingly successful career and the rise in her stardom did not stop her from quitting acting. As is revealed in the book, acting was more of her mother’s dream and not her own – one of many sad truths revealed in I’m Glad My Mom Died. Of course, I will not go into spoiler territory but, if you think you knew the young actress then maybe there are a lot of things that you will find shocking and gut-wrenching when reading his book. I knew nothing of the actress and the book managed to invoke those emotions out of me.
Despite having ninety-one “chapters”, I went into this expecting a daunting and tedious time reading. These “chapters”, however, are more like journal entries and are rather short and often, to the point. These “entries” span the duration of McCurdy as a child, her beginnings as an actress, her relationship with her parents, especially her mom, to her adulthood. Through these entries, we go along the ride with her as she has her first kiss to the first time she falls in love, both of which are not what are deemed to be normal circumstances. McCurdy painstakingly shares her tumultuous life with the world and I saw her as a human being behind the glitz and glamour that the industry wants to portray. This facade is what Jennette hid behind for so long and now, with this book, she broke herself free.
The book itself is 304 pages long but is, indeed, a very quick and easy read. There is a lot of humor that made me laugh out loud, moments that made me cringe and worry about my kids that they will shy away from and not see me as an “other” or an outsider. There were many times I cringed while reading this book.
I was amazed that, having known nothing of McCurdy, I found myself immersed in her story. In the end, I came to realize that it didn’t matter that she was somewhat of a celebrity as that part of her story was secondary. The relationship with her mother, the trials and tribulations as an actress that spilled into her life, and the struggles that she faced are what is important here. I’m Glad My Mom Died is a story of gaslighting, struggling, failures, denials, success, awakening, and retribution. It is an eye-opening story not of a celebrity but of a human being. One key takeaway is that one should never judge a book by its cover and despite what one thinks of a person that is being portrayed by studio execs and publicists does not necessarily mean that what is being shown is indeed the truth. No, what we see is what they want us to see. We could not possibly see what these celebrities have gone through, are going through, and what they will go through in their lives. Being part of the public, we feel that we have a certain right to judge because these celebrities are public figures. While there might be some truth to that, sometimes we have to pause and realize that not everything is as it seems. I’m Glad My Mom Died is a tragic and sad story of a little girl who idolized her mom and wanted nothing more than to make her mom proud and happy. Her mom wanted nothing more than to live out her dreams through her daughter and, unfortunately, the two were on different pages.