My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands Non-Fiction Book Review
In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.
You’ve either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend’s irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty.
Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won’t be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
Non-Fiction Book Review: My Horizontal Life
Yes, I can hear the moans already, (or maybe my friends are sitting behind me). I’ll admit, I’m a fan of Chelsea Handler as I tend to like her sense of humor and her “I could care less what you think” attitude. Call me a sucker for the tough gals. Some may say trashy, but I say tough. Of course, after reading her book titled My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands I may have to change my stance on how I view the foul-mouthed, vodka-loving “queen”.
Sadly, I was disappointed in this book in that I expected to laugh out loud as opposed to the small whiffs of air that escaped my perched/pursed lips – a product of a poorly induced giggle. There were a few of those – but only a few. Now what’s funny is that I actually enjoyed this book.
It’s true that I may not be the target demographic for this book being male, but still, I can appreciate the adventures (and misadventures) of a not-so-confused, smart-ass, pathological lying, young slacker who was (is?) Chelsea Handler. It is these so-called adventures that, while shaking my head for the most part, made this a fun and entertaining read. Is this stuff real? I would ask myself or just tell myself that “It’s literature” – said as if watching something ridiculous on television, ie., “It’s TV!”
Whether her claims of the many one-night stands are true or not (there are 18 chapters!) the situations and predicaments Chelsea seems to often find herself in are quite comical and almost unbelievable. Even better are the many lies that spew out of her mouth to get out of said predicament. I say again, 18 chapters! Add these chapters to a few of her other books and… well, do the math.
Make no mistake, do not go into this book with the mindset of a Shakespearean comedy but rather something you would see on a Jersey Shore episode. Actually, every episode! The difference is that Chelsea is actually real and not pretending to be someone she is not. I’d say give it a read in between breaks or if you’re just plain ol’ bored.